I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
Randomize