I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
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