That's intense
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
