It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Randomize
