perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
they're like a gay fantastic four
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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