I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
