i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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