Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
