GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Randomize
