my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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