Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
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