Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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