Buhtt sex?
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
