It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
