letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Randomize
