my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
