I'm eating all of the evidence.
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Randomize
