On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
we should paint friendship bongs
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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