Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
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