shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
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Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
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You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
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