Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
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