I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
