I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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