Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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