Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Randomize
