seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
