He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
