Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
