A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Randomize
