Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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