How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
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