There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Randomize
