There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Ladies don't puke and tell
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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