I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
It's never too late to be topless.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Randomize
