didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
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