So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
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