I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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