No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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