just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Randomize
