i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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