I heard we made out
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
