there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
