The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
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