I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Randomize