i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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