She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
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