hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
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