some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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