watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
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