then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
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