Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Randomize
