You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
Randomize