I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Randomize
