Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
