I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
No subtext here. People are naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
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