he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
I love having hate sex.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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