Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
vagina is talking i cant
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Randomize
