Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
The struggles of a small town man whore
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
